Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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