Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
