i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Alive.
So much puke
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
