Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
