nut hugger
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
