so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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