"it" just moved
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
