I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
