hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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