During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
