**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
