So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
