Porn is love you can see.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
