just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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