You work out of a Hotel?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
