Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry about my life...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
