u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
