So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Porn is love you can see.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
