i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize