I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
