I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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