I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
