when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
