Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize