It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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