If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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