I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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