i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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