Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize