I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
