we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
