im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
