So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
