You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
