Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You did what with his pubic hair?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
