Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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