how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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