he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
