if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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