We're facebook friends in real life
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize