Umm I'm too high to move.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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