i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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