Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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