ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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