That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
