Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
