ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize