Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize