Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
