My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
