beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
