Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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