This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's never too late to be topless.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
