hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
