In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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