Jerry, you need to find god
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
