I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
