I didn't shave. On purpose
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize