At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
