i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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