My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
