its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
