Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
