it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
