my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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