she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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