she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize