Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
