Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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